Growing

A few years ago that text would have destroyed me. It would have sent me back to my solitude to lick my wounds for a few years, vowing once again to retire from the idea of meeting someone. Just like the one before you and the one before him.

Different men. Same story.

Every. Single. Time.

Imagine my surprise to wake up this morning after a perfect night’s sleep. Not a minute lost wondering what I did or could’ve done differently.

My intuition knew before you sent your rambling explanations. I lost my sleep, questioned myself, cried my tears and moved on long before you decided to alleviate your guilty conscience with a self serving apology.

When your “I’m sorry” came, it was a relief to finally close your chapter in my life. It was liberating to say goodbye and wish you the best with the perfect peace of mind that this time I did everything right and don’t have a single regret. And I do truly wish you the best. I hope you don’t get lost in the weeds constantly pursuing greener grass.

A couple months ago I thought your part in my life was to  show me I haven’t saved up enough emotional capital yet to invest in new relationships.

Oh how wrong I was!

Over the past sixteen months you chipped away until all my walls came crashing down. In your exit, I find no desire to rebuild them. This time there will be no retreat to the comforts of solitude.

This time I will keep my heart open and carry on.

 

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About thistlesandweeds

I'm pretty much a big deal. View all posts by thistlesandweeds

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