Some words

So here we are again with a thought that wants to turn into words and no where else to write them.

 

For a minute I let something in my head. I let it consume me and make me feel confused, sad and small. Then I remembered who I am. I remembered how hard I’ve worked to get to where I am. I reminded myself that in the grand scheme of things, this is a blip on the screen and in a year this probably won’t matter.

For a minute it stung. I guess because it showed me that I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was and there is still work to be done to get to that point.

Two things I don’t give away easily: my time and my vulnerability. Because they are precious to me and I don’t want them wasted.

These things are emotionally expensive. And even though I’ve spent years building the emotional capital, I don’t think I can afford this yet.

It’s a numbers game and you’re not supposed to put all your eggs in one basket. But I don’t have the time or the energy to carry around a bunch of eggs in a bunch of different baskets.

So I’ll accept the moment for what it was and I’ll appreciate what it taught me. I’ll keep working on me and one day, I might be ready again.

Advertisements

About thistlesandweeds

I'm pretty much a big deal. View all posts by thistlesandweeds

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: