Do you remember me. I’m still here. I was there when your world came crashing down. I was content to step back and not push because I knew you had to deal with it in whatever way worked for you. I tried to be supportive, but you just weren’t receptive to my kind of support. Part of me is sad and angry at what you let that year do to you. We were a team and we were doing so well. We had a plan. We knew exactly what we wanted and where we were going and we weren’t about to let anything get in our way. We were happier than we’d ever been. We were confident and radiant. We smiled and finally started coming out of our shell.
And then 2009 happened. Our great depression. Everything broke.
It broke my heart to watch you struggle through all that pain. It angered me to watch your self-destruction. How could someone so strong crumble so easily? You had worked so hard and accomplished so much and it infuriated me to see you throw it all away so easily. I guess I gave up too. I imagine that I’m just as much to blame. I walked away when you needed me the most. Years of hard work, down the drain over something that should have been so trivial.
But I guess broken hearts, minds and bodies are not so trivial when they all happen at once. But for the love of all things important why the fuck can’t you just snap out of it? It happened. It’s done and there is nothing you can do to change it. That year happened, and I know it was brutal but it’s been two years! When are you going to let go? How much longer can you keep looking back and feeling sorry for yourself?
You keep looking at everything you lost whilst ignoring everything you still have! I’m still here! I believe in you! I know you can do this because you’ve done it before. You survive. No matter what has happened in your life you have always survived. You keep missing all the things that were toxic and it’s like you totally ignore me, the one that helped you, the one that was actually good for you! Forget them! Move on! I promise your feelings are not reciprocated and pining away is foolish and totally beneath you.
I’m ready to do this, and I know you are too.
So what will do you?